June/July Update

Dear Friends and Family,

Time to write again – how are you all?  We love to hear your news, too.

Dan and Oscar pose with the participants of the
Community Conflict Mediation training in Kwazulu Natal.

As I mentioned in April, it’s been a busy time. Dan and Oscar did a rural community mediation training in Kwazulu Natal, where election violence has been heaviest. Oscar and I had a great trip to the thirteen different Embassies to advocate for community peace-building to be included in their programming, and alert them to specific concerns in next year’s presidential elections. We’ve been trying to find funding to help in Zimbabwe with their first democratic election in decades, but nothing has materialized yet.

Next week we have another residential Peer Mediation training with high schools from the nearby Lwandle township. The word “township” means the area that Apartheid allowed black workers to
live in hostels and controlled by pass books. Families were not allowed to live here until 1994, when cheap housing and squatter camps sprang up. Mass migration from the rural areas brought a new population here and schools and infrastructure have struggled to keep up. The problems facing Lwandle are different from those challenging Manenberg, a reflection of how different “races” were used and abused under Apartheid. We’ll let you know what we learn next time!

Preparing Peer Mediators for practicing conflict role plays.

We’ve also been following up on the Peer Mediators from Manenberg – all three schools have launched their programs after a month of continuing role plays and practice. Several schools have used them for actual conflicts, and now we prepare for a celebratory certification service in July at the Alliance Française again. We also did a presentation for the teachers and admin so that they could understand when and how to use Peer Mediation.

At one of the schools, we got feedback that we wanted to share with you; their names have been changed to protect their identity. I mentioned that several students struggled at the actual training? Here’s the longer story: Sharif almost got sent home – the friends smoking marijuana he was standing with were driven home, and in this gang-world, loyal solidarity is expected. However, we had noticed Sharif’s keen interest and natural skills in mediation and encouraged him to stay. He did and became one of our best mediators. We were hoping that this might help pull Sharif away from gangs, or at least he can be a better leader among his friends with his new skills in listening and conflict management.

Kathryn addresses the learners at Phoenix High School
as we initiate the Peer Mediation program.

Another turn-around was a young Nicola – she was strung-out the first day, crashed the second, and slept through the third – we debated sending her home, not because she was unruly, but we couldn’t see her getting anything out of the training. The fourth day Nicola was participating, and miraculously, she was leading her mediation group by the fifth day. We were very pleased and thought she must be brilliant to get so much out of a training with her head on the desk half the week.

We continued to see these two students the next month – Sharif with shy smile and warm eyes taking everything in, and tiny Nicola with her sharp tongue and wry sense of humour. The principal mentioned in passing that he had noticed a difference in these two. After sharing with the teachers what we taught at the training, we asked if they had seen a difference in any of the students – most teachers didn’t even know who had gone on the training. Right away they named Sharif and Nicola – it was such a great affirmation. Sharif came back from the week much more focused in his schoolwork, and “calm” was used to describe him several times. He is a natural leader, and he is now using his calm tall presence to settle others around him. Then we learned of Nicola’s transformation – she was suspended earlier in the year for bad behaviour, and recently disciplined for failing grades. After the week with us away from drugs, she soared to the top of her class. A girl who mumbled for days found her voice and the ability to lead her peers and gain respect. Every teacher in the room had noticed the change – we were right – Nicola is brilliant, and she finished the term with a smile. We are not kidding ourselves – our program is not about drug rehab, and the pull of drugs and

Sinoyolo, our new SADRA Intern at the far right, poses with
the Peer Mediators from Silverstream High School

gangs is strong. But hearing these testimonies, over a month after finishing the training shows that small changes that lead to big differences do happen. Those we trained last year have reported how they use these skills not just with other students, but with their younger siblings and friends. They think they aren’t doing mediation, but I quickly affirm they are doing conflict transformation, and that’s the important thing. If we can better listen to each other, be more calm and patient and problem-solve together, then we are living as peace-makers. True for all of us!

Boys excited for pizza on J-C's birthday.

Jacob and Willow and doggie obedience class.

Our family is well, the boys are OK – they have both had birthdays in the last month. It’s winter now – this means that our house is about 50 degrees inside, without central heating, and at 80% humidity, it’s hard to get out of the warm bed in the morning. Since it’s break right now, our oldest child spends as much of the day with his heating pad and sleeping bag as he can get away with. He starts a new school in July – transferring to a Waldorf School, as he is more interested in theatre and music, which is almost non-existent at their current Cambridge-curriculum school. We just joined a good choir in Stellenbosch so John-Clair can have that exposure – we perform Monteverdi’s Vespers in September. Then I start my community project of Vivaldi’s Gloria for Christmas, and Dan is going to be Buffalo Bill in Annie Get Your Gun! So we are staying busy and trying to build some relationships. Jacob continues to bond with his new dog Willow and started dog obedience lessons.

Boys showing their awards from their
school Toastmasters Club.

Our new house doesn’t do well with the rain, but of course, we are all thrilled that the dams are filling. We continue to conserve water, of course, so that we will have water half a year from now…
We hope you are well, and thanks again for your interest in us and our work. Please feel free to drop us a note, a question, or picture. Remember that we post regularly on Facebook, too.

Love and hugs,
Kathryn, for Dan, John-Clair and Jacob