Dear friends and family,
How October flies! Hard to keep up with the passage of time. We hope all is well with you, and that you’re moving peacefully into fall – we’ve survived winter and had some replenishing rain, so are happily looking forward to summer. The boys have started their last term of the year, and we’re excitedly awaiting my sister and her family visiting us for Christmas!
Work
We’ve had several trainings and work trips since we last wrote, and rather than run through them all, I thought you might enjoy reading a more in-depth reflection from a training for church leaders we did in Durban at the end of August, the first of its kind in that province, so very new material which was received enthusiastically.
The good energy, creative questions and honest reflection by this group made our conflict analysis and mediation training an especially rewarding time. From the opening session on understanding and analysing conflict, pastors were excited to be learning such relevant skills. Unpacking concepts like that we each need to recognize our own reaction to conflict, as well as understanding and valuing the ways others react, was just the start of their transformation. We heard comments every day like, “This is exactly what I need to know to work with a current conflict situation,” and “This training is dealing with what we all need to be talking about.”
One of those topics was racial tension, a very tangible reality for many in the room, and a growing concern in the KwaZulu Natal province. Our director, Oscar Siwali, feels racism has not been honestly talked about since the end of apartheid, and that racial tension is growing in anticipation of next year’s national election. “Part of what we need to do is educate whites on what it is to be African.” Oscar explained his personal observation, that whites don’t have a space to engage and process their own pain, of which they have plenty. Coming from a traditional Xhosa community in Eastern Cape himself, Oscar reminded these primarily Zulu pastors that most of them had grown up with more present supportive, communal structures to help process pain.
A Few Thoughts
I have been reflecting a lot on this topic recently, at these conflict trainings I do with Oscar, in racism awareness workshops, justice conferences, and even the recent Anabaptist Network in South Africa (ANiSA) conference. “Why are whites not better at loving?” was the resounding question in my head from that gathering of 40 South Africans of different colors and backgrounds. It seems we are not very good at loving ourselves, in our own communities, or loving the Other, even though the Bible we imposed around the world says we are to do just that. The whites that held power in South Africa largely came from a Dutch/Germanic background and have a legacy of trauma from immigration and isolation, coupled with cultures that don’t allow emotional processing and have high levels of damaging patriarchy. English-speaking whites have their own historic ghosts, and that stiff-upper lip culture with the need to act as if one is always right has not done any favors. I’m not saying one culture is innately better or healthier than another, but when looking at the larger picture, our dominating spirit, our wounds and the trauma we deny, and our disconnect with community and caring for Others… well, there’s a reason ubuntu sounds too good to be true – there’s a lot we can learn from it.
I agreed with Oscar’s point – the whites of South Africa have been and are now very broken, and yet can’t see it or admit it in most (any?) spaces. Oscar described being African with an isiXhosa saying “When your neighbour is hungry, you give him your cow so he can milk it, and he milks it, but while looking over his shoulder as he knows some day you will come to take it back.” Emphasizing his point, he went on. “This is what we need to teach white people – you cannot just drive your big car when your neighbour is hungry. Capitalism has failed us, and we need to find ourselves as Africans.” He challenged these church leaders to share this strong sense of community and the strengths they have with their neighbouring whites. “The government is not going to do this, so the church must take on this role of reconciling the nation.”
Our participants accepted this call and applied themselves through the week to learn the skills of mediation and community building. We coached them through the mediation process, pointing out how important things like identity and dignity are in assisting resolution. In our model, mediation is a needs/interest-based approach to conflict, and this requires a different way of thinking than an advice-giving pastor or arbiter.
ANiSA
I was going to say more about the ANiSA conference – sometimes we wonder why the term Anabaptist is carried around and hung on certain things – couldn’t there be a new theological term instead of reviving this dusty old European word – we can be social-justice-pacifist-
Our work at peace-building puts a lot of weight on relationships. We are grateful for the connections we’ve had throughout our few years here, but have felt that gratitude anew during these recent events. Thank you for your support of the work towards a more peaceful world, and always for your words and prayers.
Gratefully,
Kathryn, for the Smith Derksens
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